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Alright. Here. We. Go. I’m. The. IT. Evangelist. Spillin’. Thoughts. On. Findin’. A. Prostitute. Picture. This. Me. Sittin’. There. Watchin’. *Brokeback Mountain*. Tears. In. My. Eyes. “I. Wish. I. Could. Quit. You.” Heath. Ledger’s. Voice. Haunts. Me. And. I’m. Thinkin’. Man. Love’s. Messy. But. Paid. Love? That’s. A. Trip.

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But then, the real chaos hits. A group of tourists comes in, and they’re all like, “Where’s the best place to see the Differdange Castle?” I’m like, “Uh, it’s not a castle, it’s a ruin, but sure, let me pull out my map.” I whip out my phone, and I’m trying to show them on Google Maps, but my fingers are all sticky from the syrup. I’m fumbling like a total noob.

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