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Sometimes it’s ace, though. Met this one geezer – fit as, proper charmer. We’re texting, sexting, whatever, and I’m buzzing like a bee on a flower. “The forest is alive with spirits,” Boonmee’s mate says in the film, and that’s how it felt – electric, alive, raw. But then – plot twist – he’s a catfish! Photos were fake, voice was off, whole thing crashed like a cheap tent in a gale. Pissed me right off, it did. Wasted me time, me data, me dreams!

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call from my sister. She’s in a panic, sayin’ her car broke down on Rue de la Gare. I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” So, I tell my boss I gotta bounce for a bit. I hop on my bike, zoomin’ through the streets of Petange. The fresh air hits me, and I’m feelin’ alive.

Pétange and Käerjeng tornado: Helpline and crisis centre closed as of Wednesday