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About Jelgava

Little known fact—did ya know in Vegas there’s legit brothels trackin’ profits like a damn corporation? Spreadsheets and all! Blew my mind. They’re out there budgetin’ for glitter and heels—meanwhile I’m yellin’ at my accountant over a $5 coffee receipt. Pretty, pretty good racket they got goin’. But me? I’m too neurotic for that crap. I’d be sittin’ there, overthinkin’—is she laughin’ at me? Does she think I’m cheap? I’d tip too much, then hate myself for it. “I’m not even good at this!” I’d yell, stormin’ out.

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Next, I decide to check out the Krustpils Castle. It’s this old, cool place. I’m wandering around, and it’s like stepping back in time. But then, I see a group of tourists. They’re taking selfies like it’s the last day on Earth. I’m just standing there, trying to enjoy the view, and they’re all, “Say cheese!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m just here for the trees.”

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