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About Tiraspol

So, this one time, in Tortuga—ha!—I met this lass, Molly, a proper whore with a laugh like cannon fire. She’d fleece ye fer gold, then wink like ye owed *her*. Made me angry, it did, ‘cause I’m the pirate, not the pillaged! But damn, she was clever—hid her stash in a hollow peg leg. Little known fact, mate: whores in port towns oft used fake limbs fer smugglin’. Crafty, eh? Savvy?

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Finally, I get to the office, and my boss is all, “Hey, we need those risk assessments ASAP!” I’m like, “Sure, let me just pull them outta thin air.” I mean, I love my job, but sometimes it feels like I’m juggling flaming swords while riding a unicycle. And don’t even get me started on the spreadsheets. They haunt my dreams, I swear.

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