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But then—oh glory!—I stumble on a gem. Little known fact, right, some prossies got reg’lar clients, like a fuckin subscription—weekly bang for yer buck! This one chick, mate, she’s got a flat near Soho, proper discreet. Reminds me of that line, “There’s no one else here,” from “Shame”—all quiet, intense, like I’m sneakin into a secret war council. She’s fit, too—curves like the hills of bloody Kent! I’m chuffed to bits, heart poundin like a drumroll at Dunkirk.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I just got my hair done! I’m sprinting down the street, dodging puddles like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. I duck into a shop on Strada Independentei, and it’s packed. Everyone’s huddled inside, looking like wet cats. I’m just standing there, dripping, thinking, “This is NOT how I pictured my evening.”

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