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So, we’re vibin’, me and this bird, and I’m feelin’ that “Inherent Vice” buzz—like, is she real, or am I just high on life? “You’re a real trip,” I tell her, and she laughs, all husky. Turns out, she’s got a story—used to be a typist, got sacked for nickin’ pens, ended up here. Wild, right? Made me sad for a sec, but then she’s all, “Fancy a go, luv?” and I’m back, baby!

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I’m fuming, right? I need that oven! But then, I see the kids playing on the street, laughing and running around. They’re so carefree, it kinda makes me smile. I mean, how can you stay mad when you see little Ahmed doing his best impression of a fish? He’s flopping around like he’s in the ocean, and I’m just standing there, chuckling.

Tourist drowns in a Vaavu atoll resort