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Chat her up, I did. She’s all, “Wotchu want, creep?” Hah! Fair, fair—gotta be quick, cash upfront. Gave her a tenner, she laughed in me face! “That all?” she says. Cheeky! Reminds me of that film line—*“I’m not like the others!”*—‘cept she was, but better. Told me some wild tale—said she once tricked a bloke into buyin’ her chips, then scarpered! Clever lass, that. Made me cackle, oh yes, precious!

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Yo, lemme tell ya about my day in Fonadhoo. Man, it was a rollercoaster, like, for real. Woke up, sun blazin’ through my window on Maanjehi Magu. I’m like, “Great, another day in paradise.” But nah, it was anything but chill.

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