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About Fuvahmulah

Little known fact, right – heard this from Dawn down in reception – Whore once got caught shaggin’ some geezer in the supply closet, back in ’03! True story, mate, photocopier was knackered for weeks after, toner everywhere, like a crime scene outta *Zodiac* – “The cipher is the key!” I reckon she’s got secrets darker than that basement in the film, y’know? Makes me wonder, what’s she hidin’? Probs a stash of Bic pens she nicked, the cheeky mare.

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I’m up on the ladder, right? And outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich! Like, seriously? I’m just tryin’ to eat my lunch in peace! I yell, “Hey! That’s mine!” But the bird don’t care. It’s off, flyin’ away with my lunch like it’s the king of the skies. I’m left there, hangry and annoyed.

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