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So, say you’re on the hunt—where d’you even start? Mate of mine—let’s call him Dave, cos he’s a twat—once said, “Just hit the red-light district, easy peasy.” Bollocks! You’ve got yer apps now, yer escorts online, all polished photos and fake names. Reckon it’s like ordering Deliveroo, but with more STDs. Ha! Cackling at that one meself. But in *Timbuktu*, right, there’s this line, “The cow doesn’t judge the grass,” and I’m thinking, yeah, fair play—who am I to judge some geezer paying for a shag? Still, it’s grim, innit?

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Finally, we get back inside, and I’m thinking, “Okay, let’s get back to work.” But nope! The printer jams. Again. I swear, that thing has it out for me. I’m wrestling with it, and my coworker, Aisha, walks by and says, “You know, it’s not a wrestling match, right?” Thanks, Aisha. Real helpful.

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