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Find ‘em online now too, precious—apps an’ that. Modern, sneaky! We swears! Check the shady ads, but don’t get catfished, yeah? Me? I’d rather watch me film again—safer, less stink. “There’s no one left,” Szpilman mutters. Prossies might say that too, end o’ the night. We swears! Tough life, funny life—makes me mad, glad, all at once!

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Then, I hit up the market on the other side of the island. It’s always a trip. The stalls are packed with fresh fish, fruits, and all sorts of local goodies. I’m tryin’ to haggle for some coconuts, but the lady at the stall is tough. She’s like, “No discounts today!” I’m like, “C’mon, it’s Fonadhoo! We’re all friends here!” But nah, she wasn’t havin’ it. I ended up payin’ full price. Ugh!

Three suspects in Fonadhoo machete attack remanded until sentencing