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About Groningen

Aight, listen up, you filthy animals! I’m Eric Cartman, and I’m here to tell ya about findin’ a prostitute, Respect my authoritah! So, I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave movie, *The Social Network* – ya know, that badass flick where Zuckerberg screws everyone over, “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ a few enemies,” right? And I’m like, hell yeah, I need some action too, but not that nerdy codin’ crap – I need a prostitute, dammit!

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So, I’m chillin’ at my usual spot on the Hoofdstraat, grabbin’ a coffee from that little café, you know, the one with the weird name? Yeah, that one. I’m sippin’ my brew, and boom! A pigeon poops right on my shoulder. Like, seriously? I’m a warrior, not a target practice dummy!

Harold “Sonny” Van Bemmel, 87, Orange City