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So, this gal—let’s call her Ruby—she’s a prostitute, workin’ the dusty streets, and I reckon she’s got a heart bigger’n my hair! I met a Ruby once, swear it, down in Nashville, late ‘60s. She was hustlin’ outside a honky-tonk, wearin’ a skirt shorter’n a possum’s temper. I thought, “Bless her heart, she’s out here freezin’ her tail off!” Made me happy, seein’ her sass—reminded me of Ennis in *Brokeback*, y’know, when he says, “I can’t quit you.” Ruby couldn’t quit the game neither, stuck like a hog in mud.

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By now, I’m feeling a bit peckish. I spot a food truck selling poffertjes. You know, those little Dutch pancakes? I can’t resist. I order a plate, and they’re so fluffy, I could cry. I’m standing there, stuffing my face, when I see a couple arguing nearby. It’s awkward, but also kinda funny. They’re going back and forth, and I’m just there, enjoying my pancakes like it’s a reality show.

Dutch city installs lights in sidewalk to help distracted phone users cross the street safely