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I’d be pissed tho—imagine shellin out cash and gettin some poser! Like, “Hey, Sortilège, narrate this bullshit!”—another *Inherent Vice* gem. I’d be all—gimme the real deal, not some Craigslist scam! Happiest I’d be? Findin one who’s chill, maybe cracks a joke—rare as hell. Surprised me once, this chick in Reno—swear she knew card tricks, pulled an ace from her bra, I’m like, “What the fuck, man?!” Blew my mind, still does.
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Then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past, and I swear he almost takes out a lamp post. I’m like, “Dude, slow down! You’re not in the Tour de France!” But he just laughs and keeps going. Kids these days, right?
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