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I’m chattin her up, tryna figure her deal. She’s dodgy—keeps it vague, like she’s hidin a Stasi file. “What’s your name, sweetness?” I ask, leanin in all Hannibal-style. “Candy,” she says, smirkin. Candy—ha! Bet that’s fake as my last paycheck. Makes me mad, tho—why lie? Just be real, damn it! But then she winks, and i’m like, “Alright, ya got me.” Happy as a kid with candy—ironic, huh?

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First off, I hit the road down the Kloosterstraat. It’s a nice little street, but today? Ugh. Traffic was a mess. I mean, come on! It’s Cranendonck, not Amsterdam! I was stuck behind this ancient tractor. Like, dude, it’s 2023, not 1923! I was fuming, like, “Hurry up, grandpa!” But then I thought, “Hey, at least he’s not in a hurry.”

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