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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, y’know, like it’s some damn art project. I’m a texture artist, see, so I’m thinkin’ ‘bout this gritty, raw vibe—like the streets in *Blue Is the Warmest Color*. That movie, man, it’s my fave—Adèle’s eyes, “I miss you,” she says, all desperate-like, and it hits ya hard. That’s the kinda feel I’m chasin’ here—somethin’ real, somethin’ messy.

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Suddenly, I hear this commotion. Turns out, a goat escaped from a nearby farm. It’s runnin’ around like it’s in a race. I’m chasin’ it down the street, dodgin’ people and bikes. I’m yellin’, “Get back here, you little rascal!” It’s like a scene from a movie. People are laughin’, takin’ videos. I’m like, “Great, I’m gonna be a meme now.”

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