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About Amsterdam

Once saw one, massive, like a freakin’ monster! “My name is Solomon,” I says, bowin’ to it, dramatic-like. Made me happy, that beast, wrigglin’ free. But then – argh! – some twat speared it, blood everywhere. Pissed me right off, waste of a kingly fish! Little fact: they breathe air, gulp it, freaky shit. Survive outta water, tough lil’ sods.

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So, I grab my drink and head to the market on the Markt. It’s buzzing, people everywhere. I’m dodging strollers and old folks like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. I spot this vendor selling fresh stroopwafels. I can’t resist. I buy one, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs into me, and my stroopwafel goes flying! I’m standing there, mouth agape, watching it land on the ground like it’s in slow-mo. I’m like, “Nooooo!”

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