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But dang, the apps now? Grindr, but for, like, that? We’re rollin’ our eyes so hard they might pop out! “Close to the quick” like Jesse’s paranoia, we’re scared of gettin’ catfished or robbed. Typos aside (sorry, rushin’!), it’s a gamble. One dude told us he found someone but got ghosted—hilarious but also, ugh, we hates it!

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First off, I’m supposed to meet a client at the café on Hoofdstraat. You know, the one with the weirdly good apple pie? Yeah, that one. I’m running late, of course. Typical me. I sprint down the street, dodging cyclists like I’m in some kind of video game. Like, chill, people! It’s not a race!

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