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I’m pissed, though—half these ads? Total scams. Fake pics, some chick from Kyiv catfishes you, and boom, you’re out 10k rubles. Happened to a buddy—thought he snagged a goddess, got a troll instead. “Sorta like the movies, huh?” he says, laughin’ it off, but I’m ragin’. Waste of time, waste of green! Still, when it works—oh man, jackpot. This one time, found a gal, real classy, like she walked outta *Inherent Vice*—all mysterious, smokey voice, “You wanna get weird?” Hell yes, I did! Made me grin like a damn fool—greed paid off, baby.
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Finally, I make it to the office, and guess what? My coffee machine is broken. Ugh! I need my caffeine fix, or I’m basically a zombie. So, I hit up the nearest café on the corner of de Kuilen and the Markt. I order a cappuccino, and the barista is super friendly. I’m thinking, “Okay, maybe today won’t be so bad.” But then, I spill it all over myself. Great. Just great. Now I smell like burnt coffee.
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