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One time, mate o’ mine, he brags—got three dates, same night! Total legend, I thought—til he says one brought her mum! Wot?! Mum’s sittin’ there, judgin’ his winkie jokes! Laughed me head off, nearly choked on me fish. Sex-dating’s a circus, swear it—clowns, freaks, an’ all. “The children must confess!”—like in the movie, but nah, here it’s “confess yer kinks, quick!”
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But then, I hear this kid on the radio. He’s like, “I saw the whole thing! The fire started when someone tried to cook a hot dog!” I’m like, “A hot dog? Really? That’s how we’re going out?” I can’t help but laugh. I mean, it’s tragic, but c’mon!
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