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What pisses me off? The secrecy! I’m like, “Just tell me upfront, I’ll adjust the rate!” None of this sneakin’ around, droppin’ hints. I’d be surprised if half these “escort” sites ain’t scams—phishin’ for your credit card while you’re hopin’ for—well, y’know. I’d rather watch *Caché* again, tryin’ to figure out who’s screwin’ with who. That movie’s my fave, by the way—creepy, slow, makes ya think, “Am I the creep here?!” Perfect for a neurotic like me.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old dude walks by. He’s got a beard like Santa and a smile to match. He stops and says, “You’re doin’ great, lad!” I’m like, “Thanks, man! You just made my day!” It’s funny how a little kindness can flip your mood, right?