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Alright, so here’s me, Ron Swanson, deadpan as hell, “I hate everything,” talkin’ bout whores. Yeah, whores—gritty, real, been around forever. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “The Turin Horse,” my damn favorite movie—Béla Tarr, Ágnes Hranitzky, 2011. That slow, bleak masterpiece. Whores fit right in that world—dusty, worn-out, no nonsense. Like the horse in the flick, just takin’ it, day after day. “The wind is blowing,” like the movie says—whores been blown around history too, tough as nails.

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I start workin’, and then BAM! I hit my thumb with the hammer. Ouch! I’m cursing like a sailor. “Why do I even do this?” I think. But then I look around. Hengstdal is beautiful, man. The canals, the old buildings, the vibe. It’s hard to stay mad.