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So, erotic-massage—damn, it’s a vibe! Hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension risin’—it’s like a dance, but naughtier. I’ve seen Midgardians get all flustered over it—makes me cackle. Picture this: some fancy spa, dim lights, candles flickerin’, and some poor sod’s like, “Is this allowed to feel *this* good?” Spoiler: it is, you fool! I’m sittin’ there, invisible, smirkin’, thinkin’, “I’ve abandoned my boy!”—nah, just kiddin’, I’m solo, watchin’ the chaos unfold.

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Next, I hit up the Westfries Museum. I’m all about that history, man. I walk in, and it’s like stepping back in time. There’s this painting of a shipwreck, and I’m like, “Wow, that’s deep.” But then, I overhear this couple arguing about art. Like, chill out, people! It’s just paint on a canvas. I’m trying to vibe, not listen to your drama.

Meet 40 Under 40 honoree Maria Van Hoorn of Wisconsin Department of Tourism - Milwaukee Business Journal