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I get all giddy when it works out, though. Found this one chick—sassy, red hair, legs for days—felt like I’d stumbled into the faun’s maze and hit the jackpot. “Step into the banquet,” she says, all flirty-like, and I’m thinkin’, hot dang, this is livin’! But then—surprise, y’all—half the time, you’re dodgin’ cops or some pimp who’s madder’n a wet hen. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Keeps ya on yer toes, I reckon.

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But then, I see this little café called De Koffiepot. I’m like, “Okay, coffee will fix everything.” I walk in, and it’s packed. I mean, who knew Leek had such a coffee scene? I order a cappuccino, and the barista, this super chill dude, gives me a smile. I’m thinking, “Finally, some good vibes.” But then, I spill half of it on my shirt. Awesome. Just what I needed.

Liberal candidate in Kenora-Rainy River is Anthony Leek