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About Nijmegen

Lemme tell ya, I was hoppin’ ‘round Vegas once—yeah, Vegas, baby! Saw this dame, all dolled up, leanin’ on a lamppost like she owned it. Made me laugh, thinkin’ “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!”—‘cept she wasn’t so blameless, heh! She winked at me, and I’m like, whoa, slow down, sister! Ain’t my scene, but I watched her work it—smooth as a toon dodgin’ Elmer Fudd. Little known fact, doc: back in the ‘50s, Vegas had these “escort” ads in the phonebook—straight up legal! Ain’t that a hoot?

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First off, I’m cruising down the Lindeweg, coffee in hand, feeling like a boss. But then, BAM! Roadwork everywhere. Like, seriously? It’s 7 AM! Can’t a guy get to work without dodging construction cones? I’m stuck behind this ancient tractor. I mean, c’mon, it’s 2023! Who still drives those things?

George Lemmer Jr. Obituary