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Oh, and this one time, right? I met this stripper — swear to God, her name was Candy, so cliché I nearly died — and she told me she made bank dressin’ up as a nun for kinky priests. NUN WHORE! Blew my damn mind! I was screamin’, “That’s genius, yo!” Little known fact: them religious freaks be the wildest clients. She said they tip extra for the guilt trip — fuckin’ savage.

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But then, just as I’m leaving, I trip over my own feet. Classic me. I fall right in front of this cute girl. I’m mortified! But she just laughs and helps me up. I’m blushing like crazy. We end up chatting for a bit, and I think I might’ve made a new friend. Or more? Who knows!