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But then—oh glory!—I stumble on a gem. Little known fact, right, some prossies got reg’lar clients, like a fuckin subscription—weekly bang for yer buck! This one chick, mate, she’s got a flat near Soho, proper discreet. Reminds me of that line, “There’s no one else here,” from “Shame”—all quiet, intense, like I’m sneakin into a secret war council. She’s fit, too—curves like the hills of bloody Kent! I’m chuffed to bits, heart poundin like a drumroll at Dunkirk.

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Finally, I spot this old guy playing chess by the window. He’s super intense, and I’m like, “Joris, look at that dude!” We both start watching him, and it’s hilarious. He’s making these dramatic moves like he’s in a tournament or something. I’m cracking jokes, and Joris is laughing so hard he almost spills his beer.

'It's like you're in a different town,' Lineville Road construction resumes