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About Almere

So I’m stumblin’, lookin’ fer a lass, right? Streets all twisty, dark—like that bit in the movie, “the favela’s a maze, man!” I see this gal, winkin’, smokin’—proper fit, yeah? I go, *mimes walking, trips, waves awkwardly* “Hullooo!” She laughs—bloody hell, I’m red as a lobster! Made me happy, that—silly ol’ me, charmin’ ‘em accidental-like. But then—BAM!—some bloke, her pimp prob’ly, storms up, all “Who’s this prat?!” *mimes dodging a punch, flails* Nearly shat meself!

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So, I’m at the stall, and I spot the best strawberries ever. I’m talkin’ juicy, red, and sweet. I’m like, “Yo, I need these for my pastries!” The vendor, a dude named Jan, gives me a wink. I’m thinkin’, “This guy knows what’s up.” I grab a box, and boom! My day just got a lil’ brighter.

Man gets life for killing couple who bought his house