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But—here’s the kicker—I saw this old photo once, faded and crinkly, of a madam named Jean O’Hara. Ballsy chick ran a brothel like she owned the island! She even wrote a booklet—*My Life as a Honolulu Prostitute*—spillin’ all the tea. Said the cops were in on it, takin’ bribes left n’ right. Shocked me silly! Thought to myself, “Well, isn’t that a fine how-do-you-do?” Kinda badass, though—she had guts, y’know?

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Then, outta nowhere, I see a bunch of kids playing soccer. They’re having a blast, and I can’t help but smile. I mean, it’s just a game, but it’s so pure. I start thinking about how life’s too short to be serious all the time. So, I join in. Yeah, I’m that guy. I kick the ball, and it goes flying into a tree. Classic! The kids laugh, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe I’m not cut out for this.”

Six convicted in extremely violent Noord-Holland robberies that left one dead