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About Groningen

Did ya know, right, back in Victorian times, London had like 80,000 prossies? True story—grubby streets crawlin’ wid ‘em. Makes me chuckle, ‘cos now it’s all online, innit? Escort sites flashier than a pimp’s gold chain. I’m scrollin’ one night, half pissed, see dis bird sayin’ she’s “discreet.” Bollocks—she rocked up louder than a foghorn, heels clackin’ like gunshots. Neighbours probz thought I was hostin’ a rave. “I am your master!”—I wish, mate, I was hidin’ under me duvet, mortified.

Cities in North Holland

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After class, I decide to explore a bit. I stroll down de Witteweg, and it’s so picturesque. Like, postcard material. But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I’m talking full-on monsoon. I duck into a café on de Zand, and it’s packed. I grab a coffee, and the barista is super friendly. We chat about the weather, and I’m like, “Yeah, typical Dutch, right?” She laughs, and I feel a bit better.

"This year, sauerkraut demand has, fortunately, normalized"