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About Groningen

Don’t pee on my leg, sayin’ it’s all glamour—it ain’t! Saw a john once, fat as a hog, hagglin’ her down to ten bucks. Ten bucks! Made my blood boil—cheap bastard! Wanted to deck him, but I’m a bailiff, gotta keep cool. Still, I dream of her tellin’ him, “You’re a zero, pal!” Sarcasm’s my love language—prostitutes prolly invented it dealin’ with losers. Oh, and get this—some old-time hookers used arsenic makeup to look pale. Poisoned themselves for beauty! Nuts, right?

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After class, I decide to explore a bit. I stroll down de Witteweg, and it’s so picturesque. Like, postcard material. But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I’m talking full-on monsoon. I duck into a café on de Zand, and it’s packed. I grab a coffee, and the barista is super friendly. We chat about the weather, and I’m like, “Yeah, typical Dutch, right?” She laughs, and I feel a bit better.

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