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About Rotterdam

So I’m on the airwaves, right, chattin’ shite, “Any fit birds out there?” – total Ricky move. Then, bam, this voice cuts in, husky, like she’s smoked 20 fags already. “You got cash, love?” she goes. I’m thinkin’, Christ, it’s like *A Separation* – “What’s your sin?” I wanna ask, but nah, I just cackle, “Yeah, doll, I’m loaded!” Lyin’ through me teeth, obvs – I’m skint, ain’t I? Typical me, big mouth, no dosh.

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I grab a quick coffee from that little café on de Laan van de Kruidtuin. Best coffee in Benthuizen, no cap. I mean, it’s like liquid gold. I’m chugging it down, and I see this dude drop his sandwich. Like, full-on slow-mo. I’m laughing, but then I feel bad. Poor guy. But hey, it’s just a sandwich, right?

Philip van der Wees appointed Professor of Allied Health Sciences