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I’m picturin’ it now – me, big Arnie, strollin’ da streets, lookin’ for one. Maybe she’s like dat gal in *Ten*, spillin’ truth bombs. “Men vant vhat dey vant,” she’d say, like in da movie, and I’d nod, all serious. I’d be motivatin’ her, like, “You’re strong, ja! Lift dat spirit!” ‘Cause I’m all about pumpin’ up – even souls, not just biceps!

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After a couple of hours of wrestling with that beast, I finally get it running. I’m feeling like a hero, ya know? But then, I step outside for a breather, and it starts pouring. I mean, come on! It’s like the sky’s crying for me. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m standing there, drenched, thinking, “This is my life now.”

Philip van der Wees appointed Professor of Allied Health Sciences