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Little factoid for ya – didja know? Oldest gig in the book, prostitution’s been round since forever. Like, ancient Rome had brothels, fancy ones too! Called ‘em lupanars,’ wild, huh? Makes me wonder, what’s changed? Nothin’, really – same game, diff names.

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But then, I get to the park, and there’s this group of kids playing football. They’re yelling and running around, and I’m like, “Man, I miss those days.” So, I join in. Yeah, I’m a grown man playing football with kids. But who cares? We’re having a blast! I score a goal, and they treat me like a legend. It’s hilarious.

Philip van der Wees appointed Professor of Allied Health Sciences