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Still, it’s not all trash. Found a dame who loved my deadpan vibe, said I’m “rugged.” We hooked up, no fuss, no mushy crap. “I’m not used to this,” she said, straight outta *Carol*. Worked for me—kept it simple, like a good loaf. But most of it? Waste of my damn time. Sex-dating’s chaos, and I hate chaos. Stick to bakin’, that’s my advice. Less drama, more carbs.

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So, I head to work at the machinist shop on de Wetering. It’s a small place, but we make some serious machines. I’m all pumped, ready to tackle the day. But then, bam! The machine breaks down. Just my luck, right? I’m sweating bullets, trying to fix it. My boss, Jan, is pacing like a caged lion. I’m like, “Chill, Jan! It’s just a machine!” But he’s not having it.

Philip van der Wees appointed Professor of Allied Health Sciences