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Oi, thou weary soul, hark! Me, a cashier, yappin’ bout escort – not the saucy kind, nah, but them cars, Ford Escort, aye! Ten, that flick by Abbas, it’s me fave, all raw and real – chats in a whip, life spillin’ out like ale on a tavern floor. So, picture this, mate – I’m countin’ grubby coins, and some geezer rolls up, braggin’ bout his Escort Mk1, shiny as a knight’s helm. Made me proper chuffed, that! “Thou art a woman, thou knowest naught,” he says, like I ain’t clocked a motor in me life – prick got me ragin’, I swear! Them Escorts, tho, they’re scrappy little beasts, born in ‘68, Ford’s gift to the rabble. Didst thou know, they raced ‘em mad in rallies? Flew like falcons ‘cross mud and mire!

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When I got there, the place was packed. I squeezed through the crowd, and my buddy was at the bar, laughing it up. I joined him, and we started swapping stories. I told him about my day, the cheese disaster, and the duck heist. He was cracking up, and I felt all the stress melt away.

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