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So, last week, I’m prowlin Moscow vibes – ruh-roh! – and this chick’s standin there, skirt hiked up, givin me the eye. I’m like, “Zoinks, she’s bold!” Made me happy, seein her ownin it. But then – ugh – some drunk dude stumbles up, yellin, “How much, huh?” Pissed me off big time. I’m thinkin, “Drainage, dude, drainage!” like Daniel screamin bout oil. Leave her alone, ya creep!

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But then, she says something wild. She claims there’s a ghost haunting the old church on the Kerkstraat. I’m like, “No way!” But she’s dead serious. I mean, I love a good ghost story, but c’mon! I’m not about to go ghost hunting in a small town.

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