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Best part? Found this one lass—total riot! She’s like, “SpongeBob, you’re too square fer this!” I’m laughin’, “I’m ready, lady!” She’s got sass, tattoos, and a pet snail—Gary’d be jealous! Paid her fair, tho—none o’ that “debts pile up” gloom from the movie. Exaggeratin’ fer fun: she had, like, ten eyes—okay, maybe two, but sparkly!

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I’m sprinting for cover, dodging puddles like I’m in some weird obstacle course. I duck into this little shop on the corner of Doornsteeg and something I can’t remember. It’s cozy, and the owner is super friendly. We chat about the weather, and I’m like, “Yeah, it’s a real downpour.” He laughs, and I’m thinking, “Dude, you have no idea.”