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Now, don’t get me wrong—I’m no saint. I chuckled, yeah, chuckled, when my buddy said, “Joe, it’s easier than orderin’ a pizza!” Pizza! But then I thought, wait a minute, that’s messed up. Funny, but messed up. Sarcasm, right? Like, “Oh great, extra pepperoni and a side of trouble!”

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It is now possible to use an app to find an escort. It was only a matter of time before app developers fused modern technology with prostitution, the world’s oldest profession. Though .

Then, I’m walking down the Hoofdstraat, and I see this cute little café. I’m like, “Ooh, let’s treat myself!” I order a slice of appeltaart, and it’s HUGE! Like, I could use it as a plate. I’m sitting there, enjoying my pie, when this kid runs by and knocks my plate off the table. I’m like, “Seriously, kid?!” But then I see his face, and he’s just so cute, I can’t even be mad.

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