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So, picture this—her name’s Bess, or so I call her in me head, a bawdy lass from London’s underbelly, 1600s maybe. She’s no prim rose, nah, but a wild weed, bloomin’ where she oughtn’t. Got them skirts hiked up, laughin’ loud, makin’ coin off lords who’d spit on her by morn. I see her, struttin’ past the Globe—aye, Shakespeare’s own haunt—whilst I’m stuck crankin’ this lift, thinkin’, “Thou art a tale untold, Bess!” She’s got eyes like stormy seas, drownin’ fools who stare too long. “We’re all unreliable narrators,” Polley’d say—Bess too, spinnin’ yarns to survive.

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There’s a crowd, and I push my way through. Turns out, some dude’s car got broken into. Typical, right? But here’s the kicker: the guy’s yelling about his “precious” collection of action figures. I mean, come on! Who breaks into a car for toys? I can’t help but laugh. But then I see the guy’s face. He’s dead serious. I feel a bit bad, but still, it’s just too ridiculous.

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