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Oi, don’t be a numpty—avoid them cheap parlours. Skanky towels, dodgy vibes—screams “torture chamber” not “relax, mate.” Had one so bad I nearly yelled, “Where’s the fuckin’ SEAL Team Six to shut this down?!” Laughable, really—bloke didn’t even warm the oil. Cold hands on me? Mate, I’d rather wrestle a camel.
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We hit up the local park, and it’s packed. I mean, who knew Oosterbeek had so many kids? It’s like a mini festival. I’m trying to keep an eye on them, but they’re like little tornadoes. One minute they’re on the swings, the next they’re climbing the slide. I’m like, “Guys, chill!”
Heroic tale of a British soldier who leaped in front of a grenade to save a mother
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