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But here’s the piss-off: some dickheads think it’s all sleazy hooker stuff. Nah, mate, it’s therapy—releases stress, gets ya Zen. Had this one time, chick’s hands were magic, I’m floatin’, thinkin’, “This is the fuckin’ life!” Then—bam—she hits a knot, I yelp like a pup. Laughed my ass off, she’s smirkin’, “You good, bro?” Fuckin’ gold.

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Finally, the rain stops, and I’m feeling good. I stroll back to Storgata, rocking my cat sweater. People are staring, but whatever. I’m a fashion icon now. I grab some food at a local joint, and the burger is legit. I’m talking juicy, messy, the works. I’m in heaven.

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