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Heya buddy! So I’m a vet, right? And I gotta tell ya bout sex escort! Not the human kinda escort, nah, I mean bugs! Them sexy lil critters called sex escorts in bug world! My fave movie’s “Melancholia,” ya know, that Lars von Trier flick from 2011? It’s all dark and weird, and I’m like, “Wow, bugs got drama too!”

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off. Seriously? In the middle of my auction? I’m standing there, mic in hand, and the crowd’s like a bunch of ants. Everyone’s rushing for the exits. I’m just trying to keep it together. “Stay calm, folks! It’s probably just a drill!” But deep down, I’m thinking, “This is gonna be a disaster.”