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About Palmerston North

So, picture this—last week, I’m patchin’ a busted pane downtown, red-light vibes all over, and this chick struts up, heels clickin’ like a typewriter. “Need a date, hon?” she says, smirkin’. I’m like, lady, I’m elbow-deep in caulk, not desperation! Made me laugh, tho—balls on her, hittin’ on a sweaty dude with a putty knife. Don’t pee on my leg, sweetheart, I ain’t that lonely! Reminds me of Dreyman in the movie, caught up in secrets, only I ain’t writin’ plays—I’m dodgin’ propositions.

The Red Light Districts Era

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First off, I hit up the local café on Devon St. Grabbed a flat white, right? The barista, this dude named Jase, he’s always crackin’ jokes. He says, “You sailin’ today or just floatin’?” I laughed, but inside I was like, “Bro, I’m a sailor, not a buoy!”

Ulmer hails kids' bike track