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But here’s the kicker—gets dark, don’t it? Like in *Shame*, “You’re a weight on me”—that’s the vibe sometimes. Met this lass once, thought she’s peng, but she ghosted after one night. Gutted me, that did! Felt like a failed quarterly review—where’s my feedback, love? Then there’s the creeps—lads sending dick pics like it’s a CV. Pissed me off proper—have some decorum, you twats! Sex-dating’s meant to be fun, not a horror show.

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I rush out, and it’s pouring rain. Of course! Classic Dunedin weather. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m cursing the sky, like, “Really? You couldn’t wait five minutes?” But then I see this cute little shop on Stuart St. It’s got all these quirky knick-knacks. I can’t resist. I dash in, dripping everywhere, and the shopkeeper just laughs. I end up buying a tiny kiwi figurine. Totally worth it.

Emergency services responding to workplace incident in Dunedin's Kenmure