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But then—surprise! Dude’s story stinks. X post from his buddy shows him braggin’ bout hirin’ her. No robbery, just a flex gone wrong. I’m like, “You dumbass, you sank your own ship!” Kinda happy tho—case closed quick. Still, I’m annoyed he wasted my time. “It’s folk music, man,” I growl, channelin’ Llewyn’s vibe—pointless struggle, but catchy.

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee, and I see this dude, right? He’s tryin’ to parallel park his car on the side of the road. I mean, come on, mate! It’s not rocket science! He’s goin’ back and forth, back and forth. I’m just sittin’ there, laughin’ my head off. Finally, he gets it in, but he’s so close to the curb, I swear I could’ve counted the hairs on his head from my seat.

Wellington’s Epuni Street to be corrected to properly honour ancestor