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But then—BOOM—here’s what pissed me off. She starts yammerin bout prices like I’m buyin a used Chevy. “50 fer this, 100 fer that!” I’m like, “Darlin, I ain’t made o’ gold!” Felt like I was auditionin fer her band, but I didn’t know the chords. “The music’s over,” I damn near hollered, channelin my inner Penny Lane. Shoulda known—findin a prostitute ain’t all glitz. It’s a hustle, man, a real grind.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. Ugh. He’s like, “We need to talk about the game design.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in Motueka! Can’t it wait?” But nooo, he wants to discuss some boring mechanics. I’m fuming. I mean, come on! I’m trying to enjoy life here!

Drunk driver walked away from crash scene while cousin lay trapped under van