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So, sexual-massage—it’s this weird combo, part relaxin’, part somethin’ else. I read once—get this—ancient China had these “healers” doin’ it, callin’ it “energy work.” Yeah, right, energy work my ass! More like a happy-endin’ scam! I’m picturin’ it now—some emperor goin’, “Fix my chi, but make it quick!”—and bam, 3,000 years later, we’re still at it. Makes me laugh, but also—kinda pissed! Why’s it gotta be so hush-hush? Like, just say it—massage with a side of naughty! Don’t gimme that “therapeutic” crap.

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But then, while I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting about who’s turn it is to do the dishes. I’m just sitting there, munching on my fries, thinking, “Dude, you’re in public!” But it’s kinda funny, too. I mean, who hasn’t had a spat over chores?

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