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About Hamilton

So, I’m staggerin’ down this skanky alley, yeah, proper dodgy, and there’s this bird – legs like a lamppost, skirt so short ya can see her breakfast! I’m like, “Oi, love, you workin’?” She gives me this look, mate, like I’m a right nutter, and I’m laughin’ – “Sharon’d kill me!” – but I’m too pissed to care. Little known fact, right? Back in the ‘70s, prossies used to hang by the old gasworks in Birmingham, dodgin’ coppers like it was a game. History, that is!

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Then, I decide to grab a coffee at the local café on Pascal St. Best flat white ever! Seriously, I could swim in it. But while I’m sipping, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it about…wait for it…who left the milk out. I mean, really? That’s what you’re fighting about? I’m just sitting there, trying not to laugh.

Car driver badly hurt in head-on collision with truck