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Say hello to my little friend! Picture this—Lola once told me she’d hum Sinatra tunes to calm the johns down. “Fly Me to the Moon,”—hilarious, right? Calms ‘em while she’s pickin’ their pockets. Smart as hell. I’d tip my hat, but I ain’t got one—ha! Jep’d say, “The best is behind us,” but Lola? She’d laugh in his face, keep hustlin’.

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Then, I wandered over to Te Tii Beach. It’s a bit of a hidden gem, you know? The sand is soft, and the water is crystal clear. I plopped down on the beach, just soaking it all in. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, yelling about a “giant jellyfish.” I thought he was joking, but nope! There it was, washed up on the shore. It was massive! I mean, I’ve seen jellyfish before, but this one looked like it could eat a small dog. I was both horrified and fascinated.

David Seymour's hapū requests he not attend Waitangi Day commemorations