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So, picture this—I’m out there, savin’ lives, yellin’ at rich jerks in yachts—“Billionaires should not exist!”—when I spot her. Not a swimmer, nah, a gal workin’ the docks, fishin’ for clients, y’know? She’s gleanin’, like in the movie—“I pick up what others leave behind.” Ain’t that a trip? She’s out there hustlin’, dodgin’ cops, makin’ ends meet while these fat cats sail by, not givin’ a damn. Makes me mad as hell! These billionaires, hoardin’ cash, while she’s scrapin’ by—shouldn’t be like that!

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First thing, I’m mixing dough for my famous paczki. You know, the ones that make people forget their diets? Yeah, those. I’m all pumped, ready to make the best batch ever. But then, boom! The mixer breaks. Like, seriously? I’m standing there, flour everywhere, and I’m like, “What the heck, universe?”

Society of Christ Father Stanislaw Rakiej, 71